Episode 3

The Grandmother Story transcript in PDF


In this video, I describe how I learned one of the most important lessons of my life and my work. The primary care-giver is the most important person in a child’s life. If that person is not well, or stressed, then the child’s secure base becomes shaky. Attachment security in the child begins with a healthy, well-regulated and positive parent.

Links and Reading

Well, not a reading list this time. I thought I would include some ideas about looking after the most important person in your child’s life…you. Taking time to reduce stress and to look after yourself is essential. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Eat properly, practice good sleep habits (7-8 hours per night) and exercise regularly. These three things help your body and brain to function optimally.

2. Practice yoga, meditation, dance, drumming.

3. Be organized: Keep you space and your things organized. The stress of losing things and forgetting things is largely avoidable by practicing this area of self-discipline.

4. Plan your time: Make schedules and plan when you need to do things and then forget about them until you can do them. I find I don’t stress about stuff I need to do if I know when I am going to do it.

5. Plan your time for you, no one else will. Make it a priority, remember the African Grandmother Story. Post a list that you can see daily of what you like to do to look after you. Here are my favourites that I can do alone or with family or friends:

a. Watch a movie cuddled up with my husband (the kids have fledged).
b. Hike or snowshoe in nature with my dogs
c. Read (not work stuff)
d. Work outdoors
e. Play a game
f. Workout
g. Nap
h. Sing while I am driving (alone!)
i. Listen to music
j. Talk with friends

6. What is your stress level? If it is an 8/10 then I suggest you will need 8 hours per week of self-care. That’s just over 1 hour per day. You can do it. In fact, your child really needs you to.